Let us always meet each other with a smile, for a smile is the beginning of love.
Mother Teresa
My story, so far……….August 2010
I am a busy mother of six beautiful children Liam, 9, Daniel 8, Anne 8, David 6, Cain 3 and Fintan 2.
Unfortunately diagnosed with breast cancer January 2009. I had a radical mastectomy and they found 4 tumours and after a scan, 4 in my liver. I was given less than a year to live if I didn't have chemotherapy and 18 months if I did.
Given the side effects of this drug and the little hope, it was easy for me to make the choice, no chemotherapy. I wanted to spend fun time with my children, not be a sick mum in bed.
It has since spread to the hips, ribs, spine and lungs. I have had liver ablation and I am now on a low dose chemotherapy tablets but since I have embraced other therapies my health has improved. I have had a great deal of integrated medicine and I say integrated because I am a believer of both.
Unfortunately I cannot get these treatments or products on the NHS. I have spent over £60,000 of our money.
I have been remarkably well and it has been a great blessing to be an active mother. I have met some incredible people through this journey and my family and friends have been an immense support to me.
Our school and church community have been incredible and raised money to send David, my husband, our wonderful children and myself to Lourdes – a pilgrimage of great joy and hope. For me, it is imperative that I remain positive and happy; it is so important to laugh.
It does not make me cry that I am in this situation, but the generosity and kindness shown to my precious family and me does.
Thank you
Maggie
................................................................................................................
September 2011
What a great feeling it is to be alive – I don't even mind washing the kitchen floor anymore!
I have had fun with my dear children, I have had amazing support and help from my dear husband, David, my incredible family, friends and community and so much from people that I have never met. I would love to throw a party for us all!
I'm not pretending that it has been easy, but God's delays are not denials, so sometimes we just have to wait! (Wait, and wait!)
We have had a simple but happy summer – a few days in Norfolk and camping in the field at the back of my Mum and Dad's house. A summer holiday with 29 cousins has been a summer of fun! The children have spent hours climbing trees and I have spent hours at the bottom, waiting to catch them! Our youngest, Fintan fell asleep in the wheelbarrow and then we gently lifted him into a damp tent to continue his peaceful night. All they wanted to do was to play outside and then follow the wonders of nature – we can learn so much from our children. We are so caught up in the busy lives we lead that sometimes we forget to stop and look around. I am constantly amazed at the pure joy they have in finding a ladybird or trying to catch a butterfly!
I feel incredibly well. Medically, I am a disaster; nine tumours in the right lung and a few incy wincy tiny ones in the left! My bones are stable but I have a very large tumour in my liver; too big for ablation or surgery. I am still incredibly active and to look at me, you would never know.
I have, of course, asked many experts and also involved myself in research to find the next best option for me. I have found a wonderful clinic in Germany who can offer me a treatment called Hyperthermia. This is based on body tissue being exposed to high temperatures (up to 113F). Research has shown that high temperatures can damage and kill cancer cells, usually with minimal injury to normal tissue. By killing cancer cells and damaging proteins and structures within cells, hyperthermia may shrink tumours. There was a wonderful case, where a little boy who had a number of brain tumours was given no hope of survival. He developed a high fever for four days and went into remission – he is still alive today!
We have to surround ourselves with love, hope and real joy and be aware of all the great things in life.
Maggie
.................................................................................................................................
September 22
Arrived here this morning. Got the late night ferry from Dover to Calais and David drove here through the night. We arrived just after 8am and I have started my treatment already. I feel nervous, excited and very lucky. A huge thank you to every one who has helped get us here and for all the prayers and support.
Maggie
.................................................................................................................................
September 28
Many thanks to all who have so kindly donated, we truly appreciate the generosity, love and best wishes expressed to us in this hour of need!
In order to continue Maggie's treatment we still need all the help we can get and therefore welcome donations no matter how small. You can donate via paypal or make a BACs payment directly to Maggies Hope by clicking here.
David
.................................................................................................................................
October 2
I have been in Germany now for a week and have settled in to the routine of being directed, always with a warm smile, from one treatment to another. The staff here are so kind and friendly. There are many stories to tell; some very sad ones and some very happy, but, they are all inspiring. An amazing family, from Australia have been here for 22 weeks - Grandmother, daughter and three grandchildren. The Doctors back home told the family that there was nothing they could do for Grandma. This clinic was their last hope. She had many treatments here and eventually went into hospital for surgery. The Doctor was expecting a 20% chance of survival from the operation alone and when he opened her up, he told himself, she took a risk in me, now I will take a risk. he removed 95% of the tumours, of which many were dead, due to the local hyperthermia treatments. After two weeks recovery, she is on her way home and will be back in January to sort out the liver metastases! An amazing story of hope and love. All the children were home schooled whilst they were here and every day their dear mother, Maria, who had the most incredible smile, only spoke of hope. Another young lady of 30 with two primary cancers, brain and breast, is on the road to recovery. There are many............
I have been having lots of infusions to detoxify my body and many more to boost my immune system. I have had treatments like local hyperthermia, which can damage the tumour tissue, and is painless. Investigations have shown that in patients with metastasising tumour diseases, whole-body hyperthermia was able to improve the effect of chemotherapy. in an advanced disease situation this allows treatment with relatively moderate dosed chemotherapy with less side effects. The increase of immune functions caused by the high fever also plays an important part in treatment success. I'm trying really hard to catch a fever without the chemo!
It was so hard to say goodbye to David, but the needs of our dear children are imperative. The hardest part in this all, is being away from my dear ones.
I was sitting around the table with a number of patients, having lunch, when one dear lady asked me where my husband was, my reply was, "He's run off with one of the nurses!" I felt terrible when I realised that she had taken me seriously!
Two of my wonderful sisters managed to come and visit me; Liz and Mary - a lovely surprise! We haven't spent this kind of quality time together since we were little sisters!
Maggie
.................................................................................................................................
The prayer room here is so beautiful and involving icons of many faiths; so very comforting.
Today was a day of unrest because the clinic want me to decide on chemotherapy in combination with full body hyperthermia. My gut feeling indicates no. I decided, with a great deal of prayer, that if the liver ultrasound showed no progression, then I would decline. It showed a slight shrinkage! No chemo.!
11th October
Today is Cian’s 5th Birthday – we all had breakfast together via skype – we had so much fun, passing croissants through the screen; they were fascinated. David, and all the little ones made him a delicious chocolate cake and decorated it with yummy berries. Although it was so hard being away, especially with little Cian’s birthday, I was happy because they were. Cian and Fintan ran towards me with a lollipop, looked at me and said “Mummy, look, I’m brushing my teeth with a lollipop, and you can’t get me!” They ran away, laughing!
Of all days, today was also the date of my brain scan, which Dr Herzog recommended, due to a sudden burst of brain activity and sickness!
This has always been my biggest fear. Mary, my sister, who will be leaving this evening, came with me, knowing that I suffer with a little claustrophobia. The clinic had kindly arranged for an ‘open’ machine. Looked pretty tight to me! The lady, with a mischievous twinkle in her eye nodded at me and told me I would be fine. She put a big mask on my face and told me, “going in.” I screamed, “get me out of here!” She then produced these amazing glasses that allowed me to see the whole room with no feeling of claustrophobia! It was fantastic!
I also got the results today – five tumours in the brain. I was gutted because I had always been under the illusion that I was a pure genius! When I saw how neatly they fitted in to my amazing brain, I realised that all my husband’s fears were confirmed!
The most incredible part of all of this is that I have no fear. I have looked and searched for fear and doubt, but I cannot find it. I have a feeling of complete trust and peace. It is not denial; I am very aware of my medical situation. I have been on an amazing journey. A spiritual, exciting, self reflecting one. I am full of so much hope and love, that I am bursting with a passion for life.
Now, my husband wants me sectioned!
.................................................................................................................................
14th October
On my way home – can’t wait!
Arrived home just after midnight. It was incredible to see all our dear children fast asleep in their own beds, without a care in the world! Slowly, one by one, they sneaked into our bed and by 6am we were all together. We laughed, we talked; we just looked at each other. Little Fintan would not take his eyes off me. He did not want to leave my side. At one point, Fintan looked at me and said, “Mummy, I thought you had died in Germany, but you came back.” He ran off laughing! We all chuckled and managed to capture the joy! Life is good and we are a better family for it.
.................................................................................................................................
15 October 2011
Great to be home! Mum, Dad, brothers, sisters, fantastic wives and husbands, wonderful nieces and nephews all came over and created a wonderful memory called breakfast and precious time together.
We must give each other time and do the things we love.
Today, we were sent away to Legoland. A complete surprise! The children had so much fun. We had time together, no washing, no cleaning, no cooking, just time and fun together! Thank you.
.................................................................................................................................
17th October
David, our 7 year old, came running into our room and jumped on our bed. He gave me a big smile and said, “ Mummy, Daddy is such a good Daddy, he cooks, he looks after us, but you Mummy, you’ve taught us about God and how to do the right thing, to walk humbly with our Lord and be faithful to our God.” Off he ran to play with the others. I chuckled because I wanted to take the credit but I think it was Bishop Peter that taught David about this wonderful moment.
.................................................................................................................................
2nd November 2011
Today I am at Charing Cross Hospital, London for my Radio Frequency Ablation on my right lung. I have had the largest tumour removed today and I am so very grateful to the Professor and team here as this is new hope for me.
Recovery was almost immediate, as it was keyhole surgery that was performed. Is it sad to be excited about surgery?
.................................................................................................................................
3rd November
Discharged and back home with my darlings by this afternoon.
.................................................................................................................................
7th November
I have been advised, many times before, to remove my amalgam fillings, due to possible leakage and damage to vital organs.
The concentration of mercury in the brain, blood and urine correlates with the number of amalgam fillings in one’s mouth. The concentration increases markedly with increased chewing.
Mercury is linked to many things, including cancer and they are also banned in many countries.
I have had them all removed, as they were all leaking – detoxification is so important.
.................................................................................................................................
12th November
Still on large doses of Dexamethasone. This is a steroid to reduce the oedema around the brain tumours – desperate stuff but necessary! The side effects are tough – sleeping very little, but the house is spotless! Leg muscles are weak but now the children can catch me and can find me before I can find a hiding place! My face is now very puffy but the positive side to all of this is that my children now confuse me with Princess Fiona, Shrek’s wife!
.................................................................................................................................
16th November
Back at Charing Cross for another bout of RFA on the right lung. Managed to remove one more only as they were concerned about lung collapse. Amazing care and I am so grateful that this wonderful team have not given up on me! With metastatic (spread) cancer, it seems to be that there is little hope.
.................................................................................................................................
25th November
Unfortunately, I was feeling unwell this morning, probably for the first time in a very long time! Apparently I collapsed to the floor and little Fintan, our three year old, raised his arms, flapped them down in resignation and said, “There you go, Mummy dead now! The ambulance driver turned to my GP and said, “Oh, is she terminal then?” His wonderful response was, “ to be honest, you can’t tell with this one, she keeps bouncing back!” I will have to live up to this statement!
I awoke to many visitors, even my big sister Liz, who had just flown over from Geneva.
.................................................................................................................................
28th November
Released and sent home!
Again, fantastic care from my local hospital. Everyone has been so kind and the staff even had time to be compassionate – an amazing way to be with such little time. Thank you for your kindness.
Mother Teresa
My story, so far……….August 2010
I am a busy mother of six beautiful children Liam, 9, Daniel 8, Anne 8, David 6, Cain 3 and Fintan 2.
Unfortunately diagnosed with breast cancer January 2009. I had a radical mastectomy and they found 4 tumours and after a scan, 4 in my liver. I was given less than a year to live if I didn't have chemotherapy and 18 months if I did.
Given the side effects of this drug and the little hope, it was easy for me to make the choice, no chemotherapy. I wanted to spend fun time with my children, not be a sick mum in bed.
It has since spread to the hips, ribs, spine and lungs. I have had liver ablation and I am now on a low dose chemotherapy tablets but since I have embraced other therapies my health has improved. I have had a great deal of integrated medicine and I say integrated because I am a believer of both.
Unfortunately I cannot get these treatments or products on the NHS. I have spent over £60,000 of our money.
I have been remarkably well and it has been a great blessing to be an active mother. I have met some incredible people through this journey and my family and friends have been an immense support to me.
Our school and church community have been incredible and raised money to send David, my husband, our wonderful children and myself to Lourdes – a pilgrimage of great joy and hope. For me, it is imperative that I remain positive and happy; it is so important to laugh.
It does not make me cry that I am in this situation, but the generosity and kindness shown to my precious family and me does.
Thank you
Maggie
................................................................................................................
September 2011
What a great feeling it is to be alive – I don't even mind washing the kitchen floor anymore!
I have had fun with my dear children, I have had amazing support and help from my dear husband, David, my incredible family, friends and community and so much from people that I have never met. I would love to throw a party for us all!
I'm not pretending that it has been easy, but God's delays are not denials, so sometimes we just have to wait! (Wait, and wait!)
We have had a simple but happy summer – a few days in Norfolk and camping in the field at the back of my Mum and Dad's house. A summer holiday with 29 cousins has been a summer of fun! The children have spent hours climbing trees and I have spent hours at the bottom, waiting to catch them! Our youngest, Fintan fell asleep in the wheelbarrow and then we gently lifted him into a damp tent to continue his peaceful night. All they wanted to do was to play outside and then follow the wonders of nature – we can learn so much from our children. We are so caught up in the busy lives we lead that sometimes we forget to stop and look around. I am constantly amazed at the pure joy they have in finding a ladybird or trying to catch a butterfly!
I feel incredibly well. Medically, I am a disaster; nine tumours in the right lung and a few incy wincy tiny ones in the left! My bones are stable but I have a very large tumour in my liver; too big for ablation or surgery. I am still incredibly active and to look at me, you would never know.
I have, of course, asked many experts and also involved myself in research to find the next best option for me. I have found a wonderful clinic in Germany who can offer me a treatment called Hyperthermia. This is based on body tissue being exposed to high temperatures (up to 113F). Research has shown that high temperatures can damage and kill cancer cells, usually with minimal injury to normal tissue. By killing cancer cells and damaging proteins and structures within cells, hyperthermia may shrink tumours. There was a wonderful case, where a little boy who had a number of brain tumours was given no hope of survival. He developed a high fever for four days and went into remission – he is still alive today!
We have to surround ourselves with love, hope and real joy and be aware of all the great things in life.
Maggie
.................................................................................................................................
September 22
Arrived here this morning. Got the late night ferry from Dover to Calais and David drove here through the night. We arrived just after 8am and I have started my treatment already. I feel nervous, excited and very lucky. A huge thank you to every one who has helped get us here and for all the prayers and support.
Maggie
.................................................................................................................................
September 28
Many thanks to all who have so kindly donated, we truly appreciate the generosity, love and best wishes expressed to us in this hour of need!
In order to continue Maggie's treatment we still need all the help we can get and therefore welcome donations no matter how small. You can donate via paypal or make a BACs payment directly to Maggies Hope by clicking here.
David
.................................................................................................................................
October 2
I have been in Germany now for a week and have settled in to the routine of being directed, always with a warm smile, from one treatment to another. The staff here are so kind and friendly. There are many stories to tell; some very sad ones and some very happy, but, they are all inspiring. An amazing family, from Australia have been here for 22 weeks - Grandmother, daughter and three grandchildren. The Doctors back home told the family that there was nothing they could do for Grandma. This clinic was their last hope. She had many treatments here and eventually went into hospital for surgery. The Doctor was expecting a 20% chance of survival from the operation alone and when he opened her up, he told himself, she took a risk in me, now I will take a risk. he removed 95% of the tumours, of which many were dead, due to the local hyperthermia treatments. After two weeks recovery, she is on her way home and will be back in January to sort out the liver metastases! An amazing story of hope and love. All the children were home schooled whilst they were here and every day their dear mother, Maria, who had the most incredible smile, only spoke of hope. Another young lady of 30 with two primary cancers, brain and breast, is on the road to recovery. There are many............
I have been having lots of infusions to detoxify my body and many more to boost my immune system. I have had treatments like local hyperthermia, which can damage the tumour tissue, and is painless. Investigations have shown that in patients with metastasising tumour diseases, whole-body hyperthermia was able to improve the effect of chemotherapy. in an advanced disease situation this allows treatment with relatively moderate dosed chemotherapy with less side effects. The increase of immune functions caused by the high fever also plays an important part in treatment success. I'm trying really hard to catch a fever without the chemo!
It was so hard to say goodbye to David, but the needs of our dear children are imperative. The hardest part in this all, is being away from my dear ones.
I was sitting around the table with a number of patients, having lunch, when one dear lady asked me where my husband was, my reply was, "He's run off with one of the nurses!" I felt terrible when I realised that she had taken me seriously!
Two of my wonderful sisters managed to come and visit me; Liz and Mary - a lovely surprise! We haven't spent this kind of quality time together since we were little sisters!
Maggie
.................................................................................................................................
The prayer room here is so beautiful and involving icons of many faiths; so very comforting.
Today was a day of unrest because the clinic want me to decide on chemotherapy in combination with full body hyperthermia. My gut feeling indicates no. I decided, with a great deal of prayer, that if the liver ultrasound showed no progression, then I would decline. It showed a slight shrinkage! No chemo.!
11th October
Today is Cian’s 5th Birthday – we all had breakfast together via skype – we had so much fun, passing croissants through the screen; they were fascinated. David, and all the little ones made him a delicious chocolate cake and decorated it with yummy berries. Although it was so hard being away, especially with little Cian’s birthday, I was happy because they were. Cian and Fintan ran towards me with a lollipop, looked at me and said “Mummy, look, I’m brushing my teeth with a lollipop, and you can’t get me!” They ran away, laughing!
Of all days, today was also the date of my brain scan, which Dr Herzog recommended, due to a sudden burst of brain activity and sickness!
This has always been my biggest fear. Mary, my sister, who will be leaving this evening, came with me, knowing that I suffer with a little claustrophobia. The clinic had kindly arranged for an ‘open’ machine. Looked pretty tight to me! The lady, with a mischievous twinkle in her eye nodded at me and told me I would be fine. She put a big mask on my face and told me, “going in.” I screamed, “get me out of here!” She then produced these amazing glasses that allowed me to see the whole room with no feeling of claustrophobia! It was fantastic!
I also got the results today – five tumours in the brain. I was gutted because I had always been under the illusion that I was a pure genius! When I saw how neatly they fitted in to my amazing brain, I realised that all my husband’s fears were confirmed!
The most incredible part of all of this is that I have no fear. I have looked and searched for fear and doubt, but I cannot find it. I have a feeling of complete trust and peace. It is not denial; I am very aware of my medical situation. I have been on an amazing journey. A spiritual, exciting, self reflecting one. I am full of so much hope and love, that I am bursting with a passion for life.
Now, my husband wants me sectioned!
.................................................................................................................................
14th October
On my way home – can’t wait!
Arrived home just after midnight. It was incredible to see all our dear children fast asleep in their own beds, without a care in the world! Slowly, one by one, they sneaked into our bed and by 6am we were all together. We laughed, we talked; we just looked at each other. Little Fintan would not take his eyes off me. He did not want to leave my side. At one point, Fintan looked at me and said, “Mummy, I thought you had died in Germany, but you came back.” He ran off laughing! We all chuckled and managed to capture the joy! Life is good and we are a better family for it.
.................................................................................................................................
15 October 2011
Great to be home! Mum, Dad, brothers, sisters, fantastic wives and husbands, wonderful nieces and nephews all came over and created a wonderful memory called breakfast and precious time together.
We must give each other time and do the things we love.
Today, we were sent away to Legoland. A complete surprise! The children had so much fun. We had time together, no washing, no cleaning, no cooking, just time and fun together! Thank you.
.................................................................................................................................
17th October
David, our 7 year old, came running into our room and jumped on our bed. He gave me a big smile and said, “ Mummy, Daddy is such a good Daddy, he cooks, he looks after us, but you Mummy, you’ve taught us about God and how to do the right thing, to walk humbly with our Lord and be faithful to our God.” Off he ran to play with the others. I chuckled because I wanted to take the credit but I think it was Bishop Peter that taught David about this wonderful moment.
.................................................................................................................................
2nd November 2011
Today I am at Charing Cross Hospital, London for my Radio Frequency Ablation on my right lung. I have had the largest tumour removed today and I am so very grateful to the Professor and team here as this is new hope for me.
Recovery was almost immediate, as it was keyhole surgery that was performed. Is it sad to be excited about surgery?
.................................................................................................................................
3rd November
Discharged and back home with my darlings by this afternoon.
.................................................................................................................................
7th November
I have been advised, many times before, to remove my amalgam fillings, due to possible leakage and damage to vital organs.
The concentration of mercury in the brain, blood and urine correlates with the number of amalgam fillings in one’s mouth. The concentration increases markedly with increased chewing.
Mercury is linked to many things, including cancer and they are also banned in many countries.
I have had them all removed, as they were all leaking – detoxification is so important.
.................................................................................................................................
12th November
Still on large doses of Dexamethasone. This is a steroid to reduce the oedema around the brain tumours – desperate stuff but necessary! The side effects are tough – sleeping very little, but the house is spotless! Leg muscles are weak but now the children can catch me and can find me before I can find a hiding place! My face is now very puffy but the positive side to all of this is that my children now confuse me with Princess Fiona, Shrek’s wife!
.................................................................................................................................
16th November
Back at Charing Cross for another bout of RFA on the right lung. Managed to remove one more only as they were concerned about lung collapse. Amazing care and I am so grateful that this wonderful team have not given up on me! With metastatic (spread) cancer, it seems to be that there is little hope.
.................................................................................................................................
25th November
Unfortunately, I was feeling unwell this morning, probably for the first time in a very long time! Apparently I collapsed to the floor and little Fintan, our three year old, raised his arms, flapped them down in resignation and said, “There you go, Mummy dead now! The ambulance driver turned to my GP and said, “Oh, is she terminal then?” His wonderful response was, “ to be honest, you can’t tell with this one, she keeps bouncing back!” I will have to live up to this statement!
I awoke to many visitors, even my big sister Liz, who had just flown over from Geneva.
.................................................................................................................................
28th November
Released and sent home!
Again, fantastic care from my local hospital. Everyone has been so kind and the staff even had time to be compassionate – an amazing way to be with such little time. Thank you for your kindness.
All text and images are copyright to Margaret Standen Thomas 2012 and not to be copied or used without prior permission.
